his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
