Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
