in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
