Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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