Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
