So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
50% drunk capacity currently
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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