You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm both gender and math confused
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