thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
