butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
"it" just moved
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
