Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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