it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so let's talk penis.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
