is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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