My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
