she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize