I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
