need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
