i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
