I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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