Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
