The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize