i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
