I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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