Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
