Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
