I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
