how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
