Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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