Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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