the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
