Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
