you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
