just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i dont even know how to be here
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
