At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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