Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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