yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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