Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
