You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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