don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
