Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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