Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
