so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
