i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize