So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
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I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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