couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
