I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
