butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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