I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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