Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
