Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
