Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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