I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
