oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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