No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
