Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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