You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
