dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
