What did we do last night that was yellow?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
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An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
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We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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