OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
