Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
